The planned trip...

Well, if everything goes right. A trip to my boyfriends house will most likely happen around his birthday. I want to be there for his birthday, the thing is though. It is going to be soo hard to get back onto that plane to return home... I know though, we will be united again, we will have a home to call "ours" and a life to share wtih each other...

Title: I wish that there was someone

Title: I wish that there was someone

I wish there was someone

To hold me

I wish there was someone

To hold me

Comfort me

Love me

To feel it

To need it

To just feel like I want it

I know that there is someone

To hold me

I know that there is someone

To hold me

To love me

Protect me

I knew that there was someone

To hold me

I know that there is someone

To love me

I finally met someone

To hold me

To love me

Protect me

I finally met someone

To hold me

I finally have someone....

Life before I met the savior of my life was almost unbearable. It was getting to the point where, I just did not want to feel the pain anymore, I felt incognito in ways. It felt like I was useless; a thought that brought me pain every day that I was alive. I honestly thought there was no one to hold dear. I just wanted some one to hold me, and protect me. Fortunately, the savior of my life; the very person I call my boyfriend. Is my grip of reality, he was someone, someone to hold me. He was finally someone to love me.

Ever since to this day, I have never left his side, and we have already had hard times in our relationship together, there is no possible way to get around that. We stuck together, and we got through our ailing times. Basically, this is the way I see it. You have a problem, you deal with it, you learn from it, and you move along. The past may be hurtful to one's self, but the only way to prevail is just to move along. We all have to at one point, and if you dwell on your past too much, it will break you, and it will suffocate you to no end.

I take this day to remember the saddest moment.

January 4th: I wake up, drowsy, yet content. I knew I had the love of my life within arms reach; yet as I woke up, I was overcome with sorrow. This was the day that I had to depart with a part of my soul. As the day wore on, that ominous time drew closer and closer, along with my desperation to hold on to him. I simply did not want to let him go, I wanted to keep him within my embrace. Yet, I could not.

Six o’clock finally came by. So we had to set off to the Bart station that was our only mode of transportation at the time. The trip down do the greyhound station was bitter-sweet. We were glad that we actually had the chance to meet each other, along with enforcing each others love for each other. It was just the fact that he had to leave made it a really somber occasion.

We finally arrive at the greyhound station. Codi walks into the terminal to check-in his bags, and then we wait. The wait was the worst feeling of my life; I struggled to keep myself from breaking into tears. Then, the moment finally came; the bus finally arrived. I picked up his bags, and put them onto the bus for him, after I did that. I barely managed to flutter out "Goodbye babe, I love you" after I said that I gave him a long hug, and a kiss on the cheek. Before he could say anything, I quickly turned around and started walking, walking away from the love of my life.

I find myself yet again...

As I lie down upon my queen size bed, bundled up, alone. I find myself reaching for something, or in this case, someone, that is not there. I reach for him, only to open my eyes, to be greeted with the sight of nothing. Each time I lie my head down upon my pillow, I can feel him beside me. Yet, he is nowhere near me. Every time I venture out of my house, I feel him by my side, still. He is not there.

It is hard to describe how I feel, it’s very hard indeed. I just find myself reaching for something that I cannot have, at least at this very moment. I am sure that he is doing the same exact thing; I know that he too lies his head down. Upon his pillow, to reach for me, only for me not to be there. I cannot even start to describe how much I want to be there, with him, or him be here with me. Every time he goes to bed, even though he is countless miles away from me. I can feel him reaching for me, and I am sure that he can feel me reaching for him.

Ever since that day, the day which I embraced him the very fist time. I knew that this was meant to be. All that I long is for him to be with me. I wish I could be with him, every second of my life.